


I Don't Blush

by kirari_amiya



Series: Kirari's Overwatch Oneshots [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Jokes, I don't know man, M/M, Written For Fun, i wrote this at 1 am in the morning, jokes as bad as dad jokes if not worse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 05:26:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11548413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirari_amiya/pseuds/kirari_amiya
Summary: "Your joke doesn't work on me, you fool. I don't blush."Challenge accepted.





	I Don't Blush

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Genji's less formal in this since for this fic, he is one of McCree's close friends. So no need for formality or anything.

It all started when Hanzo spoke for the very first time, clearly irritated by Jesse's antics.

"Your joke doesn't work on me, you fool. I don't blush."

Genji chuckled, his voice slightly distorted by the pale metal visor he wore to cover his scarred face. Jesse was taken aback, shocked at  how his best friend's brother was such a killjoy.

This guy was acting exactly how Genji was like when the cyborg himself joined Blackwatch. Quiet, moody and if you irritated them enough, they would snap back you. The only difference was that Hanzo seemed to have a permanent scowl on his face while Blackwatch Genji wore a deadpan look and sometimes an occasional smirk.

Hanzo seemed more robotic than his own brother was.

"I did not join Overwatch to meet the likes of you. I joined because my brother told me I had another role in this life. I believe this life would be much better for me." And with that, Hanzo walked away.

Mcree's jaw dropped. This Hanzo was extremely rude. All he wanted to do was to tell him a quick joke and start some small talk since he had known the guy had joined the reformed Overwatch last week and still had no one to go to besides Genji. He just thought he'd help the man. He didn't expect this sort of response.

Genji sighed and put a hand on Jesse's shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Hanzo has always been like this since he turned 13. It is something that those in the Shimada house have grown accustomed to. Don't think he especially hates your or anything."

"So you're saying Hanzo here is in a pissy teenager mood almost 24/7?" Jesse asked.

"That's exactly what I am saying." Genji nodded.

"Kinda reminds me of you back when you first joined Blackwa— whoa there, watch it! No need for any blades on my neck!" Mcree was cut off.

Genji spoke in a dark tone. "We don't speak of those days, Jesse."

Mcree was sweating heavily. "G-Got it."

"I am, however, quite curious to see my brother's blushing face. I've actually forgotten what it looks like." Genji pondered. "Jesse, would you like to partner with me to catch a glimpse of my flustered brother?" His mischievous self slipping through the cracks.

Jesse thought about it for a moment. He felt that he wanted to put this grumpy Hanzo in his place and he wanted to make Hanzo blush. He was honestly quite surprised that his friend's brother had not even cracked a sliver of a smile. "Yeah sure, why not?"

To be honest McCree just wanted to make Hanzo smile, laugh or blush. He hadn't seen the other man portraying anything but that grumpy, brooding personality. And this 'Hanzo' was definitely the first person who hadn't responded to one of his jokes. Hell, the cowboy even made Commander Reyes' laughter ring through the halls of the old Overwatch building.

Hanzo definitely aggravated him.

• • •

[Attempt #1]

"Hey Hanzo." He approached the male.

Hanzo didn't respond. He just continued walking.

"Do you want to know why 6 was scared of 7?" McCree asked, keeping up with Hanzo's pace.

Hanzo turned around to face him, glaring at the american. "Why?"

"Because 7, 8, 9. (Seven ate nine)." McCree chuckled, clutching his belly. Oh, this joke would never get old. He was sure that Hanzo would be rolling on the floor lauging—

"Very funny." Hanzo turned his head stomped away.

Genji poked his head from the doorway, his visor distorted his chuckling. "I told you that wouldn't work. That joke is also considered... What do you call it? Stale?"

• • •

[Attempt #2]

"[1]Ohayou Aniki." Genji ran towards his brother. His metal feet feet making a soft click-clacking noise against the floor.

Hanzo sighed and turned towards his brother. "What do you want Genji?"

"I have a question for you, brother," Genji said, skidding on the floor, only to stop in front of Hanzo.

"Go ahead," Hanzo turned his attention to his younger brother. "What is it?"

His visor's green light flickered. He lifted the metal plate from his face to show Hanzo the tiniest glimpse of a devious smirk. The old Genji was still there. The mischievous Genji. The young boy who had fallen in love with the concept of having fun, regardless of what everyone thought around him. Namely Hanzo.

"Onii-sama—" Hanzo coughed. Genji giggled and continued: "— wa makuri ga daisuki desu ka — [2]" Genji had just finished his sentence when Hanzo shouted at him. He felt a sudden pang on his shoulder only to realise that Hanzo had whacked him with his shiny golden bow.

"Urusai! Kono bakayarou.[3]" He glared at his brother and stomped away once more. Hanzo huffed as he turned the corner. Climbing up a case of stairs, he grumbled: "There's no way I like that stupid cowboy. You've got to be... Kidding me..?"

 _[1] good morning, big brother_  
[2] darling big brother, do you like mccree? (Genji mocked Hanzo by calling him 'onii-sama')  
[3] shut up/you're noisy, you idiot bastard

Genji stood back and watched his brother disappear into the distance. McCree poked his head out from the nearest doorway. "Damn. Must be hard to get any emotions outta him, huh?"

"You have no idea," Genji sighed. He adjusted his visor back into its proper place and brought his hand to his chin in deep thought. "This is more difficult than I thought..."

"Mind telling me what exactly your were discussin' there earlier? I can't exactly speak yer japanese," McCree now stood next to Genji, curious to know what Genji had said.

"Ah, I suppose it was nothing really important. Well, guessing on his reaction, I don't think it is." Genji laughed nervously. As much as he internally laughed at his brother's apparent crush on his friend, he didn't want to ruin Hanzo's chances... If Hanzo had any, anyway.

McCree decided to let it slide anyway. He didn't want to pester Genji with even more questions. "I see," McCree lit a cigarette.

• • •

[Attempt #3]

"Third time's gotta be the charm. Eh, Genji?" McCree smiled, standing confidently and patting his belt.

"Yes, but what's with the belt made of watches?" Genji asked, looking at the assortment of watched that McCree had glued onto his belt. (Dedication.)

"Just wait and see, cyborg ninja," McCree grinned and looked down at his belt. Now if he could just time this correctly..."

"Hanzo's coming!" Genji hissed to Jesse and quickly turned the corner of a doorway. He would be listening in, but Hanzo wouldn't be able to see him... Hopefully.

"McCree-san, what are you doing here?" Hanzo looked at McCree, unimpressed and ultimately annoyed that this inconvenience to his life was standing right in fromt of him.

Jesse McCree looked Hanzo directly in the eye and pointed at his belt. "Notice anything different?"

"You're wearing a belt decorated with watches?" Hanzo answered, clearly confused.

"Ya'll know what time it is," McCree smirked.

"It's... Twelve O'Clock?" Hanzo glanced at the time on the watches. "Whatever the case, this is a _waist_ of my time." He spared McCree another glance before walking away.

Genji lightly chuckled as he was hiding behind a doorway.

"But, wait Hanzo!" McCree lightly tapped him on the shoulder and pleaded.

Hanzo turned around to face him, irritated at him. "What?"

"It's high noon, darlin' and I've got my deadeye on ya," McCree winked.

Hanzo immediately buried his face into his hands.

"What did I do?" McCree thought.

"Hanzo. Hey, Hanzo? You alright there.. Oh—" he stopped mid sentence when Hanzo finally lifted his palms off of his face. Hanzo's face was mostly red and parts of it were pink. Hanzo was laughing and it had to be one of the most beautiful sounds that the cowboy had heard.

"Hanzo?" Genji poked his head out from the doorframe. "Hanzo... Laughing?" Genji seemed just as taken aback and surprised. "Is this actually my brother? He's not possesed or anything? Is he alright?"

Luckily, Hanzo did not hear his brother's remarks through his own loud, hearty laughter.

After Hanzo's laughter died down, he cleared his throat. "That was a horrible... Er, what do you call it? Pick up line?" He looked at McCree. "Did you intend it as a joke or were you actually serious?"

"Actually, Hanzo, I just wanted to make ya blush. Genji 'ere wanted to join in as well. Says he hasn't seen you blush in more than a decade 'n a half," Jesse confessed.

"Oh..." Hanzo sounded disappointed. He looked at the ground wistfully. "I shall be on my way then. This _was_ a waste of time."

"Awww, Hanzo!" McCree ran after him. "If it makes ya feel better, I'll treat ya to dinner!"

"Y-You mean as a date?" Hanzo stuttered. Cheeks starting to turn pink. McCree chuckled.

"Whatever ya want, darlin'," Jesse smiled. "I 'm sorry for wasting yer time though."

"Hmmmph." Hanzo sulked.  
_'Stupid McCree. Stupid cowboy getting on my nerves and... Making me blush..'_

"Brother, are you gay for him?" Genji asked in Japanese.

"N-No! What makes you think that?!" Hanzo snapped back.

"What're ya both talkin' about?" Jesse questioned the Japanese siblings. "Can't understand a word you both just said."

"Ah, Hanzo was just denying how gay—" Genji was cut off by being whacked by Hanzo's bow. "Brother, stop that! It won't hurt me but it can scratch or dent the metal!"

"How gay...?" Jesse seemed confused.

"How gay he is for you." Genji turned to his brother. "Are you sure you aren't one of those tsunderes?"

"Yes. I'm sure. And don't compare me to those childish anime shows you watch."

"Either way partner, ya landed yerself a date," Jesse tipped his hat. "With me."

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I'm not entirely sure that the characters are 'in character' since I wrote this McHanzo oneshot for fun since I really like McHanzo and thinking about the line "I Don't Blush" gave me a tsundere Hanzo in mind.
> 
> Usually I don't write happy or lighthearted endings, please forgive me haha
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading it : 3
> 
> If you have any suggestions, feedback or if there's a typo that's annoying, please tell me about it in the comments! (I really like getting comments on anything lmfao)


End file.
